Tuesday, 18 June 2013

Anti-feminism and Advocating for Rights Cannot Co-exist

For the longest time I called myself an anti-feminist, as well as an advocate for the rights of men, after buying into the bullshit peddled by the Men's Rights Movement.

Yes I was fooled, and I feel absolutely stupid for allowing myself to be sucked in by a bunch of angry, childish, and broken men. Does that mean that ALL men's rights supporters are angry, childish, or broken? No, of course not. But the vast majority, at least the loudest on-line portion of the MRM, are. And their anger is quite infectious, which is why I know that the MRM is attractive to those that are vulnerable to their angry bullshit. I fell for it, and I thought I was above falling for such obvious bullshit, but in the end no one is immune from powerful rhetoric and propaganda, especially when it comes disguised in the form of people saying they honestly want to help. But once the veil is pulled back it's easy to see that it's all just smoke and mirrors.

When one is trying to advocate for one group's rights, they cannot do so with the intent of removing rights from another group. This is what the radicals of the MRM want to do. These radicals want women to lose the 'power' they have over men by removing their rights and returning things back to a traditionalist state where the men work and the women stay home to cook and clean, and be good little obedient women. In other words, they want men to have rights over women, and THAT is a very big problem. It turns the Men's Rights Movement into a Men's Domination Movement.

The other thing that proves this to be true is the radical Libertarian mindset of some of these people. Libertarianism, at it's core is a system where everyone has to live by their own merit without any social safety nets, and if they fall on hard times, well that is too bad for you. Basically you are fucked if you lose your job, fall ill, etc.. It's the kind of society where no one want's to give a shit about their fellow man and prefers the selfish life of only giving a shit about one's self. A world that I would never want to be a part of because I have empathy and a desire to help those who fall on hard times, hence why I was part of the Men's Rights Movement. I wanted to help men reach equality in area's like the family court system and in social programs that help men. And I still do, but not under a banner that wishes to remove the rights of others in order to attain these goals.

As someone who loves to learn and accepts that learning entails screwing up at times, I am fully capable of saying I fucked up. I learned a valuable lesson from all of this and now have decided that I will still advocate strongly for men's rights, but not under the banner of the MRM or as an MRA. Those things are tainted too much right now by the radicals, and I do not wish to be associated with such angry and intellectually dishonest individuals. Again, this does not mean everyone who claims to be part of the MRM, or who call themselves MRA's are these types of people, but I refuse to be guilty by association any longer.

If anyone wants to know how I would label myself at this point, I would have to say I am a humanist/egalitarian. But labels now are not what is important to me. What is important is how you approach the issue of men's rights and equality for men. Most feminists I know are not actually feminists at all anyhow. They are more like humanists and egalitarians who truly do want to see men have equality in areas like family law and social programs. They are not my enemy just because they use a label that has been corrupted by radicals. And the same goes for those in the MRM who truly want equality and change without hating women or taking away their rights. These are the kinds of people I am willing to work with because these are the people that want to see real change and who are willing to do what it takes to get it done.

As for the hateful radicals, these are not people who want change. These are the people who want others to remain as angry and hateful as they are so they can justify themselves further. Misery does indeed love company in these circles. But I am not going to be a part of that any longer.

Life is too short to waste allowing myself to become angry and hateful. I prefer to make positive changes and to genuinely help others because it is the right thing to do.

I have been wasting my time listening to the radicals and being miserable. It's time to leave those lost causes behind and concentrate on what is really important. It's time to make a real difference.